秋天的成熟

灯亮灯灭，
三盏亮了两盏，
亮与不亮皆不受控制。

浑然想起，
我遗漏了香港著名的夜景。
我看见的，只有飞机上望下来的吉隆坡夜景。
期待中的万家灯火也只是一排排规规矩矩的路灯，
才发现，所谓的万家灯火早已不存在。

缘起缘灭，
也不受控制，
到底是一切早已成了定局，
还是决定权仍紧握我们的手中？？？

从前的我，因为一部戏，痴痴地相信着，
“只要相信，期待就会成真。”
后来的我，累了也醒了，
不再相信期待。
现在的我，很想相信，期待越大失望越大。

胡言乱语宣告完毕~~~
emo完了，梦也该醒了~~

Just a small town girl, livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train goin' anywhere
Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit
He took the midnight train goin' anywhere


A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on


(Chorus)
Strangers waiting, up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching in the night
Streetlights people, living just to find emotion
Hiding, somewhere in the night.


Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin' anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on


(Chorus)


Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights people


Don't stop believin'
Hold on
Streetlight people


Don't stop believin'
Hold on to the feelin'
Streetlights people

Falling in love with this song after Green Lung SayWhat 2011...
Enjoy the nite very very much.....
Tiring but valuable....=)

i duno what to do, how to do and what can i do....
无法理清思绪。
wish to get back the ori hai foon...
acts normally in everything.....
but as the speaker said,
never regret and shall look forward....
only dat could bring us go forward....
hope i can apply this...
someone teach me how to do....
appreciate...

less than 24 hours to the end...
meaning i will disappear from here for a long time as well....
until the time i get back from hong kong....
waiting for it.....
13 days!!!!!!!!!
i'm lovin it... XD

这才发现，
原来，都只是我想要的而已，
幸亏我还能拥有一些休息的时间，
不需要面对太多。
又是我的责任感霸占了我的思想吗？？
悲哀。
从此以后，我不会再轻易交心了。
可悲的自以为是。

有一個寫得很美，關於禪的故事：師父出了一個難題給弟子，他告訴弟子，有一隻小鵝，從小就被裝進瓶子里餵養。3個月後，這只小鵝的身體越來越大，已經大得無法從瓶子里出來了。請問要如何在不打破瓶子的前提下，把鵝活捉出來呢？

這問題把弟子問倒了，弟子每天靜坐冥想，該用怎個方法才能把鵝抓出來呢？最簡單的方法當然是摔破瓶子，可那就破壞了規則，不行。那先把鵝弄死，肢解後再一塊一塊取出來吧？那也不行，規則說了要“活捉”！
弟子思忖，若這兩個辦法都不行，那真是沒轍了。這問題是不是沒有答案？可是師父必然不會問一個沒有答案的問題，師父問這個問題，一定有他的用意。於是弟子繼續想，想啊想，日想夜想，想了很久很久，終於想出了答案！

弟子得到答案的那一刻，不禁哈哈大笑，怎麼如此簡單的問題，竟能困擾我這麼久，真是太蠢了！

● 煩惱的念頭

各位想知道答案嗎？哈哈！撰文至此，我是一定要說的了。其實這答案一點也不科學，卻饒富禪意。

答案：根本沒有瓶子，也沒有鵝，所以沒有問題，也沒有答案。

師父想要表達的是，所有的問題與煩惱，都是你頭腦製造的幻想，它從來不曾存在過。這世上沒有這麼一隻活在瓶子里的鵝，如果你為一個不存在的東西憂慮，那就著相了。

瓶子里的鵝是一個比喻，喻著我們身邊發生的所有大事小事。很多問題，只存在於頭腦，而不出現在現實。

西方一個心理實驗與這故事異曲同工：人的煩惱，40%屬於過去，50%屬於未來，只有10%屬於現在。在這之中，92%的煩惱未曾發生過，剩下的8%則能輕易度過。


當煩惱出現，你要知道，你並沒擁有煩惱，你擁有的，只是一個煩惱的念頭。除卻念頭，甚麼也沒有，就像佛家所說的：“一切有為念有，一切無為念無。”

12th MAY 2011

today, is the day.... haha....
can also be considered as my big day in my life....
it is the 1st day where i use my own effort, my own hand to earn a rm50.
although it is not a big amount,
however, the meaning outweighes the money...
hehe....

my work is all about data migration, meaning transfering information from old system to the new system....
is the word i learnt for this working life....
9am-6pm....
enable me to feel the life of office lady.... XD
wake up early in the morning, take bus and then take lrt to kl sentral...
get know to  2 little lady (20 yrs) who are my collegues....
1 funny girl and 1 considered quiet girl....
they communicate with me by using english at first until we reach our seat and then we began to talk using cantonese...
i seldom talks in cantonese la....
and end up been said as my cantonese very funny and weird at the end of the day....
sweat.... haha...
then have a "short" briefing from 10am-12pm at an amazingly cold conference room....
nearly frozen there....
when the time reaching 12pm, my heart begin to cheers: hurray, its 12pm!!!!
then it is time to begin our practical after the lecture....
hahaha....
kelam-kabut for it...
it seems to be easy when seeing our "lecturer" do it,
but when it comes to us, it is not easy as what we think....
and when i create the folder for the company database i am handling,
suddenly a great feel came to me....
i am doing a great job for myself... haha....
and when the time 6pm is approaching,
we ady finish what we suppposed to do today....
and we are revising all the steps required in our job...
it is truly a study day where we need to revise what we learnt....

then it comes to the end of my working day....
lrt and bus again....
reached home  by 7.20pm..
rather sad case...
is good if i can reach home earlier....
haha....

anyway, feeling great today....

有些话，真的说不出口，
大家，教教我吧，
不要问我为什么，
就是不知道为什么。

我爱你，三个字，就是说不出口，
明明机会就摆在眼前，
就是说不出。

难道真的要等到不能说时才来说吗？？
对不起，我知道我不该，
看着小小的他，轻易的说我爱你，
什么时候，我也能？？ ？

含蓄的情感，阻止我吗？？

妈，母亲节快乐，我爱你，谢谢你。。。